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You May Be A Redneck If....

You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 60 miles an hour.

You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

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If Ever You're Choking...

A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town in the South. She orders some chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast, she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Buford and Buck, two rednecks in the next booth, notice she is choking. So they get up and go over to help her. Buford drops his coveralls and bends over and then Buck starts licking his butt. The choking woman watches these two go at it and is so grossed out that she launches foward and throws up all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat. Buford pulls his overalls back up and says to Buck, "You're right,that 'hind-lick' maneuver works like a charm."